Malacca

Hi, I am back! I am also back from my holiday and it was the magical 3 days of my life because I got to spend a lot of time with my family. We played card games such as monopoly deal and hi jack. There were a lot of laughter going around and we constantly sleep late just to play more rounds.

On the second day, we woke up early to breakfast and during lunch, we went out to eat some fish asam pedas that was really delicious. We then went to explore a little bit more of Malacca by climbing up the st Paul's hill (i hope that is what it's called) to visit the st Paul church that was built centuries ago. It is so beautiful and there was carvings on rocks and all. Yeah I was starstruck haha. We also went to the A'Famosa to see the part of the wall that was left from the Portuguese times. It was built in 1511 and yet still standing tall. At night, we went to see some 4d shows and a red indian show and a parade at a carnival in celebration of Christmas.

Okay let's be real on how terrible I am talking about this whole history thing. So as promised from the last post, here is a thread of photos that I had taken through the trip.

God bless my history. I should never talk about history and only talk about things that I know or I'd 100% looks stupid.

haha there were a lot of pigeons on our apartment balcony so here is one

Eternally grateful

Hey! I finished my big exam that i talked about before. Finished it just earlier today at 3.30 pm. I feel a hugeee relieve in my heart and I am just chilling and relaxing and just want to take 2 weeks off just for myself. Right now, i could only hope for the best in my results that is coming out in about 3 more months. Please pray for my success and God shall bless you in every way  <3

I am off on a holiday with my family in 2 days and I am just looking forward to this getaway. I think I have mentioned it way too much to my peers. It shows just how much I need this break haha. I have not seen the place but I trust my parents and my uncle to make the best decision for me.

What have I been up to for the last 6 months? I graduated. That is one. It was a pleasure to be able to walk on stage and have everyone that I adore around me. I could never ask for better classmates because they have accepted me in all my bossy ways and all my imperfections. I am just glad that if I laugh hysterically, instead of making fun of my laugh, they join in. They really are the place to release my tensions. The ones I scream at but never scream back. Its crazy! Who can stand me like that?! I am eternally grateful for them.

Teachers have given me every last bit of their hope to me in the last few days before I go for my big exam and I again, am eternally grateful. Sometimes those little bits of hope is the one that keep us going whether we realize it or not. Therefore, we must always look on the bright side of things. Some people, they say things to make us feel better but they phrase their words wrongly. They mean well. Every time just right before the exam, teachers would stand in a line and just wishing us luck and I felt the love and feel more comfortable in the exam hall.

Lets talk about friends in general. I am an ultimately annoying and most would say, clingy. I have no idea how they could stand me hahahaha. I am that person that asks a billion questions until I truly understand something. But i am grateful on how at any time of the day, if I text any of my friends, they would reply. Rather it be 2am or 4pm, they would be there and I am extremely lucky since not everyone have the same privilege as i did with all of them. Some of my friendships were mend in this course of 6 months and it hasn't and probably isn't going to be the worst decision I would have ever made.

The past 5 weeks have been intense. It is the total time I had to spend in the examination hall. It is of course very stressful and brings about a bunch of emotions that just come together and sometimes just get the best of me. Books been thrown and doors been slammed. How do I release the tension within me, you ask? I scream to one direction songs. Every day I come home and I just put on their live shows (cause live ones are always better than the recorded ones) and sing my heart out in front of the television with them. It feels good. Better than stress eating at least haha. Perhaps, just maybe, I've been the cause of the thunderstorms. Whoops!

Of course I am grateful for my parents that had been patient with my attitude and tantrums at home. I am so grateful because they had only been extra supportive and helps me ease my stress. They bring miracles and their non-stop prayers for me will always be something i am forever grateful for. I definitely do not deserve this love of a man and a woman that is just too strong to be true.

I think I am done making my thankful speech haha. Today marks my last day as a secondary school student and throughout this 13 schooling years ever since I am 4 and barely 5, I am thankful for everyone that is a part and had been a part of my life. Without these people, I surely would not grow into who I am today :)

I hope I could put up some photos of my holiday that I mentioned earlier in the following post. Not a promise though cause I am really not good at posting regularly as you could tell haha. See you! Here are some photos I took from a long time ago.

Mid year, big year

It's JUNE oh my god the time have flew by so quickly. I have a countdown for my spm trials exam and its so weird to see that the countdown is due in 30 days. I swear it was 200+ days before. Yikes I am so done for haha.

As I am writing this, I have just finished my mid year examinations yesterday. It was full of roller coasters, tears and panda eyes and cramming a year and a half worth of syllabus into a day or two or for selected subjects, a night. My system is now totally immune to the 3 am sleep schedule and I kind of have trouble sleeping now which is really bad. It's not insomnia or anything. It's just my brain is already immune to the 3 am study time.

The first week of my exam went on pretty well. It was actually quite relaxing and I finished whatever I am supposed to read for the exam just in time for the papers. It was all fun and games until week 2 decides to give everyone a headache. I have totally given up on history and physics which they think was a great idea to put it together on the same day and am totally ready for all my bad grades rolling into my report card. You know the worst part.. we had to come on Saturday for our add maths and physics paper. 

A SATURDAY oh god that totally did haunt me.

I took a nap on Friday and woke up twice to a still bright day and I panicked for a moment cause I thought it was already Saturday. My blood pressure totally didn't appreciate the rush I was going through on Friday evening that i thought was Saturday morning. God bless my soul.

The third week is pretty fine. Despite having to know that my stream is the last stream to finish the exam is pretty heartbreaking. I mean its unfair that I have an important paper and all the other classes just chill and no exams on that day. I don't even understand why they show up in school. They only had civic on that day. But i mean I don't blame them either. All exams are important.

Let's not even start on my mood swings. I was in a bad mood all 3 weeks long. Full of stress and yes crying and all is included in the package. What keeps me going is only a bracelet that I wear all the time that says 'NEVER GIVE UP'. If not, I bet, just like how I plan to, I would've given up so fast HAHAHA. I got this bracelet in late 2016 and honestly it had been keeping me going ever since then. I think everyone should have something like this just to boost that tiny ray of hope and determination in them.

Anyway, I have been working on improving myself in certain subjects. I hope things goes on well for me. People are laughing cause I am actually studying a day after I finish a 3 weeks worth of exams but hey when else are you going to push yourself right? Its something you just have to do constantly. 

This is all from me now I guess. Here's a photo of the bracelet I had been wearing and I'll just leave a link just in case anyone is interested in it. Tata for now :)

Never Give Up Cuff - Rose Gold

All The Stress in The World

It must have been so bad that the S word is in my title...

Honestly I understand how crucial this year is for my future. I want to get that 9 straight A+ regardless of what I go through. I've been trying my best in everything. Join extra curricular activities and participating in a lot of competitions with my friends and just had been trying to be that best student in everything.

The SPM results came out this week. Yesterday to be exact (by the time this is published) and I am just so proud to see all these great achievers. They truly are the inspiration and I aspire to be like them. I am sure all those hard work throughout 2017 had paid well for them. SPM is like the last thing we have to go through before we could officially say "Phew, that was high school" and in all pain and happiness, I want to end it right with a straight A+ certificate.

I've been trying so hard. But I think the pressure around me had decided my own stress isn't enough and had to add in with a lot of other little mishaps like those time teachers made fun of me, the times i couldn't understand a thing written on the board, the times i managed to get myself into doing extra paperwork that had nothing to do with my SPM. I am deeply tired at this state I am writing right now. In fact, I just woke up  from a 4 hour nap. If you think 4 hours is bad, just saying but I have slept around 12 hours, 2 days ago and I still feel tired. They say its the stress and I am in no place to say they're wrong.

Just today, I've realized how i've somehow developed the extreme tiredness syndrome and had gotten myself annoyed with pretty much everyone and of course this perfect wannabe was throwing her bad mood and her rudeness to people around. I literally snapped at my choir coach today because I felt attacked when she wanted to correct me when I am not in the mood. I called her a bully because every week I am there, she somehow someway managed to find a way to find my mistakes. Not her fault though. I wasn't that good either haha but I was too stressed out and that happened which is horrible in a lot of ways.

MAJOR ALERT : NEVER SNAP BACK AT YOUR TEACHERS

For all the nice things in life, the school gave us a one week break which by the way isn't a break at all. I literally have all these days occupied oh my god I want to cry. I thought I would be more chilled out and this is the point where I get to destress for a few days but no I don't think so. I am starting early with my homeworks. I literally want to try and finish everything by today so that I barely have anything piled up by the end of the week.

I have also developed a crying problem. I cry at almost everything and I truly am overly sensitive. I think THE STRESS IS GETTING THE BEST OF ME. I keep on crying when people starts to talk about SPM and about my commitment in achieving my goal and just anything similar. A little joke could also harm this sensitive soul and I truly feel unstable with my emotions which I will gradually work on as I go through (hopefully).

It is tiring living up to my own and others' expectations but if I don't push myself now, when again right? I have a long way to go and I know that but at this rate I think all I need is an actual break where I don't have to think about anything else including studies besides my own emotions and my own mental stability. These 3 months had truly be an eye opener on how horrible stress can make you and lets not start on how horrible it had made me as a person. 

I probably just need a break and I am going to get that now. Hopefully whenever you're reading this, you're doing well. Trust me, never give up on your dreams. In the end, all of these are for your own good. 

Bubbyeee

p.s. Stephen Hawking passed away two days ago so here is a picture with my favorite words from him

2 weeks in

We're two weeks into 2018 and I feel like there are so many changes that had come. All the stress of school and paperwork and homework and etc seems to come back to haunt me. Believe it or not, the first week of school was such a busy period for me and I continuously slept at 12 am onwards which I strongly not recommend to everyone. But also at the same time I feel like comparing to other friends of mine, 12 am is pretty early as they would sleep at 4 am and trust me it doesn't do them any good either.

I was appointed class monitor and I feel like a mother to 30 children with different attitudes and behaviors. I had to collect their information and the wait for it would take a few days and i'd have to remind them over and over like an old lady. Of course by the end of time I got what i need but at the same time I feel like they only did it so I would shut up. It's a win-win situation anyways haha. I'm deeply sorry to them for having to hear me talk about the same thing over and over again yikes!

Moving on, I was also appointed the head of the class monitors. So basically I am the leader of the class monitors and that too is a whole new story. The teacher that gave me work didn't give me specific instructions on how to actually do the paperwork. I did it with my own understanding and I would send in my work early but of course it got rejected. So I had to redo everything and trust me my mood wasn't all that well either for this whole thing. But eventually with enough support and self motivation (cause no one actually give a damn), I finished it and hand it in the same week as well. Yay for me boo for the teacher.

I took up physics tuition this year as last year wasn't a great year for physics so I thought this would help me improve. The first tuition was on the first day of school (2nd January) and I was so blur. But i finished the homework and managed to get all correct and the following lesson wasn't all that bad. For my other tuitions, chemistry and additional mathematics, I still enjoy them as much as I do last year. I really hope 2018 would be the year of improvement for my studies because seriously with a maintained grade of C for biology, it's really stressful.

What else happened in these 2 weeks? Ummm lets see nothing much besides school stress really. Oh and I made a crazy new year's resolution to stop shopping so let's hope that one resolution won't fail eeeekkk. So far so good so I don't wanna jinx anything bad that would make me wanna go shopping to release stress HAHA

Here's my first ever flat lay that includes most of what i'm going to fill my 2018 with. Its such a busy year already and we are just 2 weeks in sigh. (Excuse it looking horrible please. Like REALLY)

Toodlepip!!

P.s. I have no idea what to put in the flat lay okay it is just my first attempt I WILL IMPROVE (hopefully)